Musings from the Heart: Breaking Down

I had a little breakdown the other day.

Alone in the apartment, watching a movie, I suddenly lost it.

Thinking about lost love. Hopelessness. Being alone. Not being able to work things out with someone you loved because you knew they just didn't care enough.

It was too much. The feelings too strong. All at once, overwhelmed, the tears came down. 

And then, just as quickly, I was brushing them away. 

Just a simple little breakdown, but it helped me realize something:

My soul feels torn to bits.

How do you get over that?

 

Peaceful Nightmares

Last night I dreamt.

Dreamt about the end.

What it would be like to be all alone.

It was terrible.

It was frightening.

It was not how it should have been.
And when I awoke, I was at peace.

I knew it would never be that way.

It would never get that bad.

I can do it.

I can rely on myself and finally be.

Finally find peace.

Found Wanting

It is a strange thing to know you are no longer wanted.

To know that you were once so needed.

And now, now you are not enough.

I wonder when that switch happened.

Why it happened.

Then I wonder what you'll do without me.

Because, believe it or not, you do need me.

Drifting

Why do hearts drift apart?

Does love have only a finite amount of time?

Like fine grains of sand drifting through an hour glass.

When the last grain falls, do we fall apart?

Does love that once burned so brightly, so passionately, suddenly leave us?

Looking back, it does not seem possible.

We had no idea what was to come.

The words left.

The passion left.

Years passed, and the love was gone...

Just as quickly and suddenly as it came.

Needs

I know I wanted you.

But I thought I needed you.

I don't.

Everything will be fine.

I can do this on my own.

Dark to Light

There has been nothing but shadow in my mind.

The gray shades of life permeating me.

No escape from the negative thoughts.

But there is also hope:

It is only in the darkness that the light can be found.

The End.

I'm too bitter to forgive you yet.

I don't know when I won't be.

Just know that I will forgive you one day.

One day, I'll forgive us.